Intriguing Stories

God Freaks Out

Hmm...it's been a long time since any question of attainment of higher levels of spirituality has arisen that carries any degree of credibility or demands serious consideration. It's very satisfying to be in a position to pass judgement on matters of such universal importance.

But nothing is free and the responsibility that is bestowed upon me is of equal magnitude. Not that I'm over-confident or improperly egotistical, but I'm sure that it's in the best hands. Quite frankly it would be a completely overwhelming burden for any other sentient being.

After all,

I am alpha and omega.
I am the beginning and the end.
I am the first and the last.
I am all and none.
I am never and always.
I am friend and enemy.
I am now and then.
I am before and after.
I am truth and deceit.
I am earth and sky.
I am wind and water.
I am peace and war.
I am hot and cold.
I am hard and soft.
I am right and wrong.
I am early and late.
I am fire and brimstone.
I am you and you are me.
I am good, bad and ugly.

No, wait, that's three things. Ahem...

I am good and bad.
I am bad and ugly.
I am good and ugly.

There, that's better. Now where was I?

I am guns and butter.
I am friend and enemy.

Oops, I think I said that one already. Ok, chill out. Let's keep moving...

I am yes and no.
I am maybe and maybe not.
I am stars and stripes.

Uh...uh...uh...what else...

I am steel and wool.
I am charcoal and grill.
I am dog and cat.
I am a rock and a hard place.
I am chicken and dumplings.
I am paper and scissors.
I am beer and pizza.
I am Heckle and Jeckle.
I am cheesecake and gingerale.
I am...
I am...
What else am I?
What else could I be?
Can I make a rock so big that I can't move it?
What the hell is all this about anyway?

Oh, shit, what was that? Did you see that? I'm sure I saw something over there? What was that? It feels like this room is getting smaller. That's impossible isn't it? No, wait, it's not impossible, is it? Anything is possible for me, right?

Let me outta here...I gotta go get some fresh air. Damned paradoxes. Stinking no good cosmic questions all the time. Shit. Nuts. Crap. Later.

I'll be back when I get back. Don't wait up for me.

Well that's the way it is and if you don't like it, tough shit...

Yowza
god@axomoxa.com
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