Intriguing Stories

Ethnic Purity - Cleansing the World of
Unnecessary Humans

There's much to be said about ethnic cleansing. In all fairness an objective, rational approach should be taken on such a subject. It's hard to be neutral on a subject so awe inspiring, heart warming and relevant as this, but I've managed to do it quite easily. I'll show you what I mean by conducting an interview with myself and taking both sides of the argument.

Question: What's the biggest problem facing society today?

Answer (pro): Are you talking about the human one?

Question: The human what?

Answer (pro): Human society. Are you talking about human society? You know there are lots of societies like ants, bees, wart hogs, Rosecrucians and lots of others inside this solar system alone.

Question: Of course I'm talking about human society. Just answer the question, OK?

Answer (pro): Well, if you're going to be pushy about it, obviously the answer is that there are too many people.

Question: Thanks. Now let's get an opinion from the other side. What do you think the biggest problem is facing society today?

Answer (con): If you mean human society, and it's pretty likely you do from what you said to Pro, then obviously it's too damned many people.

Question: I fail to see the difference between your answer and Pro's answer. Would one of you like to elaborate on this a little more?

Answer (pro, con): Well It's, what clearly Con just says a is matter true of but degree, I'm and definitely since smarter we so basically you agree, can the believe discussion me. is over.

Question: Hey, one at a time, please. I can't make out what either of you is saying. You first, Pro.

Answer (pro): I was trying to say it's just a matter of degree but I couldn't get a word in edgewise. I'd like to clarify my answer by saying the problem is that there are way the hell too many people.

Question: That doesn't sound any different than before. Can't you do any better than that?

Answer (pro): Sure I can. There's way the hell too damned many people.

Question: This is getting nowhere. Why don't you try, Con?

Answer (con): OK. I'd like to clear this up by saying there are way the hell too goddamned many people and we're not only choking each other to death but everything else on the planet, too.

Answer (pro): If I can butt in for a minute, Con's right but way too conservative. Humans are the only species which is completely out of danger of extinction except by it's own inability to keep it's genitals under control. Everything else is already wasted or definitely going to be if this keeps up any longer, and then humans go down the drain too because the ecosystem is wrecked.

Answer (con): You certainly do know how to butt in. Probably has something to do with where your brains are. What do you know about ecosystems anyway? Who says humans need an ecosystem other than a big food farm?

Question: Hey, hey, hey. Let's not let this get out of control. I'll ask the questions here.

Answer (pro): Oh, shut up. Look, Con, don't try to "con" me with your stupid comments. Try saying something smart for a change.

Answer (con): I'll say something smart. You're a real azzole.

Answer (pro): Real smart, concrete brains.

Question: Listen, I told you already that I'm in charge here. If you two don't get it together, I'm going to stop this thing right now.

Answer (con): Butt out, question face!

Question: You can't talk to me like that. This is supposed to be a civilized discussion. Lighten up or I'm outta here.

Answer (pro): Well maybe we can talk to you like this...

Sound effects: sock

Question: Ow! Why you...

Sound effects: bif uh! punch oof! kick ulp! rip punch bif bif sock bif uh! bif bif bif club aaaa! ..... thud

Question: uhhhh...

Answer (con): Now where were we?

(To be continued...)
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